Sunday, January 4, 2009
I almost turned away
You just stared in disbelief
Because I smiled and waved
The time has turned my bitterness
Into a sad regret
And it was good to finally talk to you
And lay our past to rest
You were once my deepest pain
But once you were my friend
And a part of me was holding on
Until I saw you again
I couldn’t bear to see it end
With rage and jealousy
A feeling once so beautiful
Should die with dignity.
Didn't get kissed,
Never held hands,
And our good times won't be missed
But years have went by
We just couldn't last,
Friends didn't work
I'm sure you remember our past
I did you wrong,
But yeah you deserved it
With the rules of dating,
You just sort of curved it
I was supposed to be your girl
But you didn't treat me with respect,
After that one night,
Our relationship was wrecked
You told lies when it was over,
But I'm not tripping you see
To this day I thank God
We weren't meant to be
I wish you would come and save me
I miss it when you held me close
I wish I was the one you love most
I miss your gentle touch
I wish you would love me as much
I miss your soft sweet voice
I wish I could be your one and only choice
I miss the way youd say I love you
And how you’d wish to god I would say I love you too
I miss your soft sweet kiss
I wish you could only see through the mist
I miss the kind words you used to say
I wish that they could only stay
I miss the smell of your cologne
I wish you knew how it felt to be all alone
I miss you with all my heart N’ soul
I wish would come back and be smart!
As I looked back I saw you.
I saw joy with you.
I saw love with you.
But when I looked back to reach out my hand to you
Why did I suddenly go blind?
As I looked back I heard you.
I heard you say that you would never hurt me.
I heard you say that you would always be there.
But when I looked back to hear you say I love you
Why did I suddenly go deaf?
As I looked back I felt you.
I felt you hold me in your arms.
I felt you touch me like your hands were made for my body.
But when I looked back to feel you hold me in my time of need
Why did I suddenly go numb?
As I look back now you’re gone.
I watched you hurt me.
I watched you walk away.
But when I look back now you’re just a memory.
A memory that my heart will never forget.
But now I'm looking forward.
I’m looking forward to being happy.
I'm looking forward to a new future.
I'm looking forward and never looking back.
That I thought would last life and more
Each day filled with happiness, devotion and yes love,
Which deeply filled my heart evermore
But one-day things just fell apart,
Hearts then split in two
Tearing, tearing, tearing apart,
Then made me wonder shall I ever become anew
To this day I now wonder in loneliness,
Thus pondering which way to go
Will such a path again be in my mist,
Sadly that is something I do not know
As I have learned from friends around,
Absence makes the heart not only grow fonder
Yet will also make it wonder to then be found,
That one day someone like me can become stronger.
You promised to stay close, but we are far out of range.
I was hoping to always stay friends,
Another promise, for if it were to ever end.
Why is it like this? You know my heart is torn.
There is no way to sew it,
For I’ve been pierced with the strongest horn.
I’m trying to move on and better my life,
But I could only envision you as my wife.
I think of you night and day,
Wondering why you left me feeling this way.
Is it something I did? or is it something I said?
Is it because I spent too much time on those metal beds?
I hope to find answers by asking people for advice,
But then I realized that they don’t live my life.
I want to write you to get it clear,
But in my heart, I am so full of fear.
Fear of you not reading my letter;
Fear that you already found someone better.
I no longer want to live in this darkness.
I no longer want this emptiness.
So I wrote this poem in search of some answers.
If you can give some, it would make my life so much easier.
Know that all this is from my heart, and all is true...
Know that I will always and forever love you.
And how we would be lost without each other
You have continued to live with ease
But I wonder why I should even bother.
My feelings of love were true
We agreed to never say goodbye
I was always honest with you about everything
But I wonder if all you said was a lie.
You took my heart when you left
So without you, there is no me
You have found someone new to make you happy
But I wonder if for me, happiness could ever be.
I really did love and care about you
You were an angel, one of a kind
I will never forget you, never stop loving you
But I wonder if I am still in your heart and mind.
I’m sorry for all the things to come.
I’m sorry for all that I feel and see.
I’m sorry for just being me.
I hate the way I am to you.
I’m sorry but what I say is true.
I never really treat you right.
I’m always the one to start the fight.
I’ll understand if you want to walk away.
And if you have nothing to say.
This apology is coming from the pits of my heart.
Please let me say this before we part.
If I never see you again.
I will always love you till the end.
The golden sands
The Mediterranean Sea
These three things bring back
Cherished memories to me.
The bright yellow roses,
Smelt like honey from the bee
The old wooden bench
Sat under the large Birch tree.
His eyes were deep,
As blue as any ocean
His gentle smile,
His voice unspoken.
I entered the garden
An innocent girl,
Now slowly a woman
Would gently unfurl,
With a heart which had
Not yet been broken.
The humid hot air hung
Like steam from a sauna
Was this man hiding
His true persona?
No one would know him,
In the way that I did,
Romantic - my Prince Charming
He had kept well hid.
But now the years
Have parted us
Though I don’t know
Where he is,
I know that when back in
My memories I search,
We're back there together
In love under that Birch.
I just want to lay down and die
Everyday you leave me I pray I will see you again
Because I knew my heart you could win
I don’t know what I would do without you
Because who would I have to call my boo
I wish you could come back to me an show me that you care
I nevr thought this would happen because our love I thought we shared
You can leave in your skin but with me leave your heart
Because I don’t want to believe that we will always be apart
I can’t live without you because our love was deep
I don’t want to be lonely and I don’t want to weep.
the best of them,
We all believed we could do
the best of things.
I guess we thought the world
would never end.
Things were so different then.
Now, we're just old friends,
When we were kids just growing up
we thought we knew it all.
Years later we've discovered
we knew nothing at all,
and we're still learning
how to climb and how to fall.
We're just old friends,
The way we thought we'd conquer
all the mountains in our way.
The way we were so sure of all
the dragons we would slay,
But ain't it funny how
reality gets in the way.
Just old friends,
Now, we see our children growing up
so sure, we don't know or understand.
So far away from us that we can't
even lend a helping hand.
We see ourselves, the way we were,
way back then.
But now, we're just old friends,
Is it best to forget?
Close the door on the past,
and all those regrets?
As the hour strikes one more time,
Raise our glasses to the future,
Sip the sparkling wine,
Hope for something out there
Better, brighter, more true,
And at the stroke of midnight,
Kiss the rest Adieu!
They were normal, ordinary for two little friends.
But then love created disaster, including lots of regret.
A history begone, and we become strangers.
A word from you seems forced and emotionless.
These feelings kept inside awakens thoughts full of danger.
A glass being filled with water, oveleaking.
The emotions that have been built up are the exact same.
They have made her silent but soon will make her shrieking.
A true love finally found inside her heart.
But reality made everything go hazy..
She wishes for one more chance;;;
A brand new start.
Watching each piece of glass shatter
Fantasy after fantasy consuming me
A new life to experience and entertain
The thoughts of your existance and suffering
Have long since left my restless mind
You left me long behind
In this pit of mud you call my home
Waiting whilst you study me
You're eyes seeing through this charade of smiles
I've lost the will to care for you
As you have been banished from the fantasies
The world is changing around me
Including the toxic indulgence of you
Yet here I stand in line
Not moving a muscle whilst my mind wanders
For I have found peace
With each pull of the strings
Whilst the violins and cellos sing me to sleep
Each night I watch you leave
And lie back once again
One day I shall surpass you
I shall adorn my corset and my top hat
Then stare you in the eye
A inferior being of little magnitude
I will have grown from you
Whether you're dead or alive
I care little for you now
It's your turn to watch me walk away
Dignity in my stance and fantasy in my mind
where it's just you and me
need to feel your actual touch
instead of what i dream
because those illusions will never be enough
only your love can complete me
i know that sounds cliche
but if you were to look into my eyes
you'd see that there is truth in what i say
but of course there will be
no gazing in eyes
because in my mind
is the only place we will lie
together soaking up each other's presence
because in the land where we dwell
might as well be our living hell
because there is a distance
that forces us apart
and there will never be an instance
where we can fulfill the desires of our hearts
outside my head
where we long for our love to be shared
and the fact that we're faced with
is that we will never be
we can never see
the great potential
of what we could probably be
and that is the truth of the matter
those aren't the words that we're after
but let's face it
if we were to explore those feelings
it would end in a disaster
a devastating catastrophe
so i implore thee
don't think of what we could be
but what we are
feel love's breeze
take in it's warmth
that's me using wind's wings
to touch your heart
to show you
no matter how far the distance
and how strong the doubts
we will be together in the instant
one of us closes our eyes
and feels love flying across the skys
it needs to reach you
to speak to you
listen to the wind's whispers
it will comfort you
wrap you up
and hold you tight
give you peace
all through the night
release all the feelings
that have you bound
behind the pages of a spiral notebook
that have never been found
these are the words
that we need to hear about
there's no point in denying the truth
because it's out
freed behind the caged bars
of my once broken heart
that longs for the truth to be told
so watch as the letters unfold
and hear the words
that have already been spoke
about two people
that can never witness
the love that there heart's hold
onto your sweet face
memorize as blood stained
fingers longingly trace
an etching of you
desperate attempt at saving
delicately dabbing at your sores
evidence of traveling through
your own little war..for nothing
you are too still
as I dress you
from nappy time soon
and your hands
crafted for guitar
to play in the band
with your brother
fingers soft as tiny petals
on the most feathery flower
and I have to leave you soon
I don,t even have 1 hour
Slowly falling to the ground
The silence is shattering
Nothing moves or makes a sound
To look down and see your faces
Makes me yearn to come back home
To tell you how much I love you
Not let you go on all alone
But if you search the silence
Its not really as it seems
For can't you hear the laughter
Reaching you through Heavens beams
I know that you all miss me
God knows I miss you too
But please take comfort in these words
I'm going to give to you
There are many kinds of tear drops
Not all are sad and blue
But mine are ones of pride and joy
For having loved so true.
You'll always be a part of me
For you are deep within my heart
The feelings that I have for you
Time can never take nor part
So when your eyes are glistening
And a teardrop slowly falls
Remember me with all your heart
See me standing proud and tall
So next time you feel a teardrop
And its fallen from the sky
It's just me talking to a friend
And made the Angels cry
I just told them our story
They know how much I loved you so
Even God didn't want to tell me
" Close your eyes, it's time to go
But through the tears I will live on
I'll know then you're thinking of me
The cool rush of memories...Bitter Sweet
That will last all of eternity.
I would not go on
another will soon
take my place
I helped you write
cheques to pay your
Ah! I almost forgot about
Letters to your family
What about those long
Almost dried up the ink.
No more will I be there
to help you write your
poems and Proze
Poems of laughter and love
sorrow and pain
Simple words we wrote
together you and I
I was there to guide
your hand when tears
blurred your eyes as
we wrote of memories you had hidden
Now I lay upon your desk
these being the last words
I shall write
I your pen has now
Faithful to the end.
But I can’t
I try to hide my pain away from you
I wish that can fade away
And never turning back
My sorrow is so deep and painful
And there’s no cure
But I try to keep asking myself
“is it really the end of our love?”
every time when you bring me pain
and locked in my innocent heart
then I hide my tears away from you
just don’t see me how much I am hurt and suffer
sometimes I think to myself
“Do I still belong to your heart?”
and I try to forget that question
but every day my curious grow every single day
all I can say that I love you and need you
in my dreams I saw how is our love dieing and slowly disappear into the shadows
I don’t want to lose you
You are my only hope who I ever had
You don’t know how much I suffer for you
Of scores you don’t know
Cause I always hide my emotions from you
And I can’t take this anymore
When I see you sometimes I just want to scream on you
Cause you always bring me a lot of pain in my heart
And I can’t take this anymore
I want to scream but I can’t
I want to share pain with you
But I don’t want
Cause I am afraid that you don’t get hurt, too!
I don’t want to say goodbye to you
I can’t live without you
So stay with me
And give me joy and happiness
Cause my heart need that!
So stay with me!
It surely reminds me of your face.
On this place you said goodbye
On this place I said I’ll die.
You stood right and end up everything
Without letting me say anything.
But then it’s just aright
At least we didn’t end up fight.
I gave up and set you free
It is for you, not me.
I haven’t seen your real smile
With me, for a long while.
It’s not what I wished for
To make you happy is I aim for.
So I let go and give up
And still, I’m here looking up.
Reminiscing those moments with you
But still I have nothing to do.
Quickly, it was lost in a moment.
Coz I know we’re not meant.
Those times didn’t last
Coz we took love, so fast.
So much to take this pain
Without any love to gain.
This terrible heartache
Make my smiles fake.
So much lies for this heart
So it was broken apart.
Words will no longer be right
Though I stood up and fight.
For the times we spent together
And for the times I wished forever.
For the memories left inside
And for the feelings I used to hide.
For the thoughts that’s still here
And for the words you said clear.
For the promises we used to swear
And for the love we spend and share.
In this place I’ll get rid and forget
Without thinking, I might regret.
With a final kiss I’ll say goodbye
I’ll be leaving this place without a cry.
Now, I’ll let these memories fly
As high as heavens, and then goodbye.
to join a crowd of such alot more.
The evening hours had just begun,
as more folk entered for the fun.
With a good selection close not far,
drinks are ordered from the bar.
A period of time to celebrate,
as more folk arrive through the gate.
The use of speech fills the air,
within the room funished with care.
Seats reserved for a crowd of twelve,
there to sort out amongst themselves.
A table laid for use with food,
from the menus where eyes are glued.
A dish to begin, plus main course,
all to be ordered with such force.
Requests are taken and during the wait,
for arrival of food upon the plate.
Talks go on around the bench,
together with drinks to help and quench.
Music plays in the evening light,
for all pleasure and such delight.
Meals are handed, there to enjoy,
in such silence and employ.
Linda, Sally, Sandy, Sue,
Mary, Tony, Jean and James too.
Joining Kathryn at the bar,
as a farewell tune plays to the star.
A final round of drink delivered,
together with a toast as speech is said.
To wish success and all the best,
as a goodbye word is well addressed.
pity directed nowhere.
Tears of unforgiving regret,
ignored and unbelievable.
Down right mean words,
hissed from the mouth
of a serpent.
Poison running off the lips,
dripping on my tongue.
Farewell old love.
The time has passed and died.
Goodbye dear liar.
take my soul and all my pride,
for which you robbed me.
My attempts to enjoy another
stolen from right under me.
Smiles of defeat
read on your non grieving face.
To someone so close?
As we ask ourselves why,
When you're looked up to the most.
You've come to mean so much
To every one of us.
Our hearts you have touched,
As we gave you our trust.
You've helped us in so many ways,
Giving us the courage to go on.
And even after the hardest days,
We all managed to stay strong.
We would've never survived
Without your constant support.
You've always been at our side,
Willing to do any task of any sort.
You've always been the glue,
Molding us together like concrete,
Creating such a close-knit crew,
Making all of our days complete.
So, let's just say "take care",
Because "goodbye" seems too final.
Maybe we'll see you again somewhere,
Remembering you always with a smile!
And that's how I'll remember you
Remember me making life worthwhile
Even if it's hard to do
Remember me strong and wise
And that's how I'll remember you
Remember me with laughs not cries
Even if your feeling blue
Remember me as your friend
And that's how I'll remember you
Remember me till the end
Cause with you life's more true
And feel her strength through all your veins;
Breathe her full odors, taste her mouth,
Which laughs away imagined pains;
Touch her life's womb, yet know
This substance makes your grave also.
Shrink not; your flesh is no more sweet
Than flowers which daily blow and die;
Nor are your mein and dress so neat,
Nor half so pure your lucid eye;
And, yet, by flowers and earth I swear
You're neat and pure and sweet and fair.
a sound, a light.
She stood at the window. A face.
Was it that she was looking for,
he thought. Was it that
she was looking for. He said,
turn from it, turn
from it. The pain is
not unpainful. Turn from it.
The act of her anger, of
the anger she felt then,
not turning to him.
I made a doll of raffia and string.
I gave her thatch hair, and a broomstick skirt
of patchwork satin rags. Around each eye
I stitched thick lashes. Such a touching thing
she was! That even you could not debate –
impassive, undemanding and inert.
Yes, surely she’d cause you yourself to sigh.
Around her breast, I sewed a loden ring
to guard her cotton heart from being hurt,
then sat down in the fabric scraps to wait,
between the rafters and the furnace grate,
needle in hand, and never so aware
no craft on earth is master to despair.
Sometimes we just break down and cry
But baby, you know it’s the only way
To end up miseries and pain
It’s been a year and were not changed
Guess we just kept holding on to promises
But promises been broken now, heartaches and lies
Is all we do.
Now I’m singing you one last song
And you’ll find the meaning really strong
‘Coz I’m singing you a goodbye song
Farewell to you, goodbye
All the times we’ve tried
Saving the tears inside
It’s hard but harder to ignore
We kept on crying
And together we waved goodbye.
Then we went our separate ways,
Seems our friendship was a lie.
He was our only form of connection,
Without him we were dead.
We didn't even keep in touch,
To see you – a day I'll dread.
Why did she not call,
When she said she would.
Maybe she could tell we were nothing,
Just like I now could.
I guess that's it now,
She was just a stepping stone.
In this long winding life,
Of which I choose to end alone.
As much as we might like things to stay the same, change is an inevitable part of life.
The universe may seem huge and the rift between friends on opposite side of the world may seem a great distance indeed.
There are many tools available with which we can communicate such as letters, phones, email etc. Even without these tools, there is a secret that only real friends know, and it is this.
All the mountains and valleys in the world cannot separate friends whose hearts are as one.
When we were still together,
I truly loved you,
but what’s happening right now,
I guess we are through,
it’s really hard for me,
to get off with you.
but I know this might be good
for both me and you.
I love you but i have to
set you free,
I’ve come to realized that
you’re no longer happy with me.
Even tho’ it hurts, I have
to say “good bye”
It’s really hard for me to
live without you, but
promise i would try to move on.
It hurts me so much but i have
to let you go.
But before letting you go,
there’s one thing i want you to know….
I just want you to know that
“I am always here for you,
whenever you need a friend,
to lean on en shoulder to cry on”
Before i let you go, i want to say
You gonna MISS ME…..